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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
crazycrazy
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7:31p
Yearend
Another year over. What's everyone doing tomorrow?
Me, I'm flying back to Vancouver on a 3:15 pm flight, getting into town at 3:40 pm. Thought about running off to Seattle, but that doesn't seem like a feasible plan. Alas. Last day with Mom and Dad for a while. Another list of resolutions to make. (Not a new year one but another random one of mine - I make lists in my sleep, baby.)
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(comment on this) Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
evangelion_100
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5:58a
Maladroit
I want you to lay
between me
and my thoughts,
to harbor haste
until it is needed,
divide what is unnecessary
from this confusion
for I am clumsy
and foolish
Love is awkward
and youthful
innocently inept;
as fragile
as the words I speak
(still,
I am unable to learn)
My bones
are full of rust
they strain
with every movement,
struggling to gain
a secular holiness
that would be worthy
of Beauty
But clumsy I remain
so let me sleep
a few minutes longer
and maybe a little weight
will be lifted
I want you to lay
between me
and my thoughts,
to disentangle me
from them;
to take my warmth
in return
because sometimes silence
is the most precious gift
the clumsy can confer
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(comment on this)
evangelion_100
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2:25a
Wait
Temptation waits
for a ravenous heart,
lingering in this pool
of fury
hoping that lust
will not devour love
(I can not let my eyes
rest upon
these anachronistic gods
that bleed desperately
in search of recognition,
I am paralysed
but privy to perfection
and lies;
carved out of truth
so hastily
heartless hinds
hurriedly hide hurt
behind voracious visions,
disguising the disgusting
with painful elegance)
you were yesterday
so quickly archaic,
so swiftly you followed serenity
into sickness
twisting and swirling about
entwining antitheses
effortlessly
(accidentally,
it seems now)
She holds fast
to the years
which grow more and more tired
through her melancholy eyes
(like vines
embracing endless weeds
after refusing to surrender
for so long,
heavy they fall
into each others arms)
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(comment on this) Monday, December 21st, 2009
evangelion_100
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8:00p
A Priori
Rusty survival
breathes heavily
and throws up its hands
in capitulation
while needs give way
to endless wants
(reason seems
to be almost extinct,
bleeding in the streets
and on the freeways
burning with effervescence
over its suffering)
I try to think back
to when we were young
and knew that the world
was ours
and the night was a sanctuary
that could not be desecrated
by anything we said
or did
but it seems so meaningless now,
with the light of years illuminating
it seems anything but sacrosanct
So dig
beneath your thoughts,
beneath your heart,
and find some new diamond
to glitter
in imitation of your Sun
(another distraction
for your lonely eyes)
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(comment on this)
evangelion_100
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7:07p
Dig
In this frozen river
of melancholy
I mend another broken bone
and send another loose thought home
I bend myself
only to break
It feels like I've been asleep
for too many months
of this year
letting my eyes be pulled shut
by heavy thoughts
and tired inadequacies
(I'm perpetually reluctant,
constantly swept away
by the force
of my own desire)
isolation dissolves
every word I spoke,
still I hunger for something more
than what I have found
but all I seem to see
in the innumerable faces
is echoes and shame,
hidden as best they can
Yet,
I cannot believe this
I find in you
something substantial
and concrete
something that doesn't end
(you gracefully bend towards
then away
from me
like a tree
in the fickle wind)
you are beautifully imperfect
and I don't know what to do
with you
there is reason
to stand tall
and reason
to fall to the earth
in tomorrow
we'll carry on
to a way out
and bury what we're worth
(bury it
beneath the weight
of our own inadequacies)
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(comment on this) Thursday, December 17th, 2009
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